Wednesday 5 February 2014

Family and Sibling Wahala

For the benefit of our non-Nigerian readers, 'Wahala' is a common Nigerian slang which was adopted from Hausa language meaning 'problem' or 'trouble'. Now to the gist.

I am a product of Rev./Dr./Engr. (You can pick one or all. That's totally up to you!) M. D and Evang. M.E. Oisamoje's Union. Also in this with me are nine others. I know what you must be thinking after doing the maths. "Ten children from a single mother, what?!!!" In our defense we have a set of twins...lol. Growing up was eventful; sometimes fun and at other times frustrating. Each of my siblings had/have their own wahala but the focus of this write-up is directed at my most eldest sister and how her fashion sense and stunning beauty has been a source of wahala  for yours sincerely. I am certain you are wondering how. Let me explain.

My sister is downright fashionable! As a kid I used to look up to her and she was my number one critic when it came to dressing and as such had to step up my game. I can attribute my not so bad fashion sense to her. My sister is a doctor (medical doctor not native doctor...hehehe)(that is her day job) and a businesswoman who deals in the sales of clothes, shoes and accessories at night (see free advertisement). A direct product of being engaged in the latter is the fact that she has to sell her product by being a live mannequin. Hence she selects a few of her products and when she puts them on people immediately reserve their take. In addition, it forces the young men at her place of work to wish she was theirs but of course since they know she is very much married, they pester her for a hook-up with any of her younger sisters. That is where I come in (sadly). I am the only unmarried/un-hooked sister she has within reach and inevitably I become the victim.

I know my sister very well. She does not like being pestered and is quick to give my number to these guys with or without my consent. In addition, I think she is very keen on marrying me off just so she can plan a wedding. With the excessive hype my she so willing offers them (the pests...lmao) they almost always sound excited when they call. Unfortunately, I am almost always not excited but forced to act it.

Please what can I do? 

Option A: Run far away
Option B: Forbid her from making such introductions(like that will work)
Option C: Get my legal counsel to write her (who will be certainly glad to in order to improve her CV) to refrain from such infringement on my human rights.  
Option D: Dis-sister her (This seems like the only lasting solution to the problem).

Advise please!!!!





12 comments:

James Lawson said...

Option E: Marry Me and be happy forever after

Geemayree said...

James take your time o! Do you want the young lady to start looking for me?! Ejor o!

Unknown said...

Take C, That's the option that seem the most likely to work cos u cannot Dis sister or get angry enough to even do anything, she will just break your head. Pass the ball

Sandra Odige said...

Hahhahahahahahahaha! Nice one dear Geee*

Unknown said...

Option E: At the next encounter, introduce yourself as Grace-Mary Oluleye [In-view]
Permanent solution!

Unknown said...

I'm laughing so hard right now....maybe C will work out best...lol

ibukun said...

Network.

Which I know is second nature to you.

Great post.

Unknown said...

Strange enough i would say option B. I kinda love an infinite loop. The elder ones never stop, I really wished there was an option E though

Louisa said...

Option Z, your last resort, come join me in Colorado.
The catch: you'll have to make me your delicious dinners (else back you go or better still, I'll sign you up on ChristianMingles.com). This is just hilarious!

Geemayree said...

Option Z looks pretty enticing but I think I will decline. You wanna turn me to execute ekaette abi? Never!!! lmao

If you sign me up on any dating site I will break your bones! (jokes)

Anonymous said...

Now Gmary thanks for the publicity and by the way, whose duty is it to get you hooked ? Since I'm now the acting mummy, you know I love you so much that's why I try to form " match maker " nah. You all would be shocked that ultimately I would have the last laugh. Btw ah is not even up to 10 yet. Wait for me I won't stop til ua hooked. * * bring it on gals**

Geemayree said...

Lmao. Choi! I am doomed o! This acting mummy please lemme alone o!